It came to light today that many scientists are involved in doing research that has already been done. Every day a new scientific discovery is made, but more often than not, it is an old discovery, it just wasn’t written down properly the first time.

Some discoveries can be made over and over until somebody realizes. We at Sketchy decided that this is a real waste of scientists’ precious time so we have compiled a top 10 list of things that have already been discovered, or are so ridiculously obvious, there is no need to “make sure”.

Please could all scientists consult this list before partaking in any more research. Take some time off if you like. Go to your favourite mall, restaurant or casino. Take a holiday! Or, if you do decide to go back to work, make sure you check our list first! You might find that you’re saving yourself from wasting valuable time that could be spent curing cancer or making penis extension technology that actually works.

• Fatty foods make you fat. (This was just discovered again today)
• Stem cells have magical healing powers.
• Hitting a rat over the head with a hammer causes brain damage.
• There is some weird shit at the bottom of the sea.
• Allowing children to play video games for more than 18 hours a day may cause obesity and blindness.
• Messing about with anything with a “Biohazard” symbol on it may cause a zombie apocalypse.
• Building hundreds of coal burning factories causes pollution.
• Hot-boxing a mouse might give it lung cancer.
• In zero gravity, things float.
• Cloning a sheep with a goat will make a kind of Sheep-Goat thing.