I think it’s really screwed up that Michael Phelps caught so much hell because he got high, like how many years ago? That’s messed up.

I think they should give him a special medal…most people get hungry and lazy when they get high, but marijuana made Michael Phelps freakin Aquaman! The bastard grew gills and finished all the races before anyone else even got in the water!

Some guy beat one of his records the other day in the 100-meter butterfly, so he went the next day and took it back…suck it, Milorad Cavic!

What the hell kind of country do we live in when everyone wants to talk shit about Aquaman getting high, but people ACTUALLY want to give Michael Jackson a holiday?

Why don’t we go for “John Wayne Gacy, molest and kill kids while wearing a clown costume” day while we’re at it? F^&k the three-day weekend…I’ll work on Monday, thank you.