A Jedi is demanding that he gets special privileges based on his religion. Markus Skywalker, a Jedi from Birmingham, has insisted that he is allowed 2 hours off work a day to “practice dodging lasers” and “hunt rancor chicks”. Citing religious intolerance, Skywalker tells us of how his religion is being suppressed by “non-believers”.

“I just want the chance to practice my religion without fear of reprisal” he told Sketchy. “I just expect to be able to wear my robes in the workplace, and that all women I work with wear their hair in funny twisted shapes.”

His boss, McDonald’s manager John Fry, said it was a difficult situation.

“I don’t want to discriminate against him because I wouldn’t do it for any other religion…” he said. “But using a light saber to cut burger buns is a real health and safety issue, so it’s very difficult finding a balance.”

Jedi rights groups have jumped on board with their support, saying “All Jedis should be treated with respect and dignity, and allowed the 3 parking spaces required for their spacecrafts.”