You can use your Iphone to find out the name of your future partner, your baby, and when you’re going to die, so why not get some information that is useful TODAY?

Well now you can. New Iphone software tells you the expected time, weight, and consistency of your next dump.

Simply install the software, enter everything you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours, and the amazing software will give you a computer generated picture of your next poo. Accurately rendered in full 3D, you can rotate, zoom and even sniff the predicted plop. No more wondering what kind of crap you’re going to have next – now you’ll know!

Seriously, if someone actually writes this software and makes a million from it, I’ll be coming after you!