Drinking on Sundays and irrationally spending money are two things that would be wise for me to avoid at all costs. So obviously you can see why I let my friend Taco talk me into going to a Booze Cruise with him this past Sunday. A lot of things factored into this decision. For one, I’d never been on one before which is just sad for a college student. Also, I wanted to see the view of the Boston skyline (I’m a pussy).

So Taco and I joined 2 other friends and we went to the bar that set up the whole thing. Multiple scorpion bowls and beers later, we were all a mess. We then made our way down the street into our boat and headed out. As I expected, the view of Boston is pretty cool from a boat. As I didn’t expect, the rest of the night was a long, regretful wreck. A booze cruise is like being in a dance club, complete with douchebags and stuck-up girls; except there’s no escape because you’re in the middle of the fucking ocean. To make the most of the situation, I pounded even more beers and guided my half-dead body on to the dance floor. I attempted to sketchily dance with every girl there, which caused them to walk away. After continuing this rather fun game of cat-and-mouse for a while, I went to the bathroom and proceeded to puke my brains out. Shortly afterwards, the boat arrived back at the harbor. The night was over….until Taco convinced me to go with him back to the bar.

My drunkenness being at a level more dangerous than “Terror Alert: Red”, I then agreed to do some karaoke. My song of choice: “Hypnotize” by B.I.G. I know (almost) every word to this song, but that’s not the point. I chose it because I was able to drop the “N-bomb” on a microphone. The looks I got were priceless.

Needless to say, I didn’t make it into work the next day, which is horrible for my finances. Eventually, I’ll learn. I hope that doesn’t come any time soon.