Don’t you hate it when you make unfair judgments about someone based on his/her nationality and then get called a “racist”? What a bunch of crap. One day, I walked down the street and asked some random African-American male who was walking in the opposite direction what his shooting percentage was. Much to my surprise, he flipped out while saying some sort of gibberish I don’t understand (probably because it was in African). The one part that seemed to be in English that I understood was, “Just because I’m black doesn’t mean I play basketball!” Please! Obviously, this poor fellow failed to understand that no one would ever make a horrible inference such as that. I calmly attempted to explain that by shooting percentage, I did not mean how many shots per attempt he’d make, but how many rival gangsters he was able to hit with his illegally-obtained machine gun per shot. Somehow, this caused an even bigger problem. He just looked at me as if I’m from another country or something, and walked away in disgust; as if he was supposed to be the one that was frustrated! I, of course, am the type who takes the high-road in situations like this and offered the man a coupon I had found in the Sunday newspaper for 30 cents off a carton of Kool-Aid. “C’mon! You love Kool-Aid!” I said. Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital with a black eye and a broken rib cage. When I came to, I attempted to explain to the paramedic what had transpired, but she scoffed. “I already heard your story, you hick,” the lady said. Even though I was a little disappointed that she wouldn’t hear my side of the story, I decided to let it be. Of course, I asked to switch to a male paramedic since women are so genetically inferior. Apparently, this makes me a “sexist” too. Pfft…..

Be Sociable, Share!

•