Another Earthquake, another military occupation. But Sunday’s quake in Chile is set to push the American military to its limits.

The quake sent the U.S. military into a preparation frenzy. Tanks and planes are being loaded up with ammunition and soldiers are receiving intensive training on shooting tear gas at children, gaining control of oil fields, and waving bags of rice at hungry families.

A spokesperson for the U.S. Defence Department said: “I can’t believe this. We were just starting to get on top of oppressing the people of Haiti and then another earthquake comes along.. If we invade Chile as well I fear our forces will be too thinly spread.”