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Somebody wins World Cup, Nobody except that country cares

Posted on July 12, 2010 in Sport by Stuart

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Somebody was crowned the winners of the Fifa World Cup yesterday, much to the delight of their country’s people. Everyone else, however, isn’t too fussed as they kind of lost interest when their team went out.

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Clowns and Baby Make Sketchy

Posted on August 22, 2009 in Baby, Business, Deals, Funny, Memories, People, Random, Sport, Video by Mumford

Clowning Around

Today I’m blogging about sketchalous ways to make some quick pesos or quick coins outside your regular day job. Now, a preface might be that these options might only work in certain areas of the world, but it’s especially doable in the Mexican city where I’m currently living.

Clowning Around

The reason I’m writing this post is because in the town where I’m living, it’s a regular thing to bump into clowns. I will see them waiting for a bus, applying condiments to a recently bought hot dog at the local convenient store, and sometimes I will see (two) clowns walking hand in hand down the street. They come in similar shapes and sizes– post-high school age with sparkles and stars and other shapes painted on their faces. They always have the rubbery clog size shoes; and the clowns always have the big red noses and their suspender get-up that we all recognize in a clown outfit.

So that’s the general description of a clown that I will see in town. Sounds like a normal clown, no?

Now the other day I was getting on the bus and two clowns got on also to make some spare pesos– or, and most likely, to make their hourly wage– they do this by singing, making jokes, etc., just like regular clowns. Again pretty normal for clowns. They did their routine and people whipped out change and placed it in their palms once their routine had ended. I´m somewhat cheap, (hey I’m Jewish ok?) and I didn´t understand the routine because it was en Español, but even I gave the clowns some pesos.

What was sketchy this time around was that these two clowns were trolling around with a child! This child was part of their act and the niño could not have been older than 15 months. NO, their mini-clown was seriously only 13 months. Clown number two had mini-clown the entire time wrapped under her arm and in the back of the bus while Clown number one passed a hacky-sack between eachother in addition to the spanish routine. Let me just say I felt the scene was sketchy.com-worthy.

I googled some images to find pics and/or videos of such acts. Instead, I stumbled upon the following video on Bess and Kyle´s “On our Own Path” blog that seems like an account of their whirlwind of adventures across the world. They have been traveling for 570 days, having done the leg of Mexico and Argentina in a year. Now they´re teaching in South Korea.

Bess and Kyle´s video is quite funny to me considering I have seriously witnessed each¨”cheap” way to make extra pesos here in Mexico. I would definitely say that each in the video are pretty sketchy—- and their entire list goes on to other bizarre ideas like poking sleeping men on the boardwalk to pirate ships.

To be quite honest, every time a singer or a mariachi band or a banjo player or a clown boards one of my buses, even if I don´t place a peso in their hand, you can bet that I´ve come very close to jumping up and singing and/or joking with them– or atleast taking up the idea to become a sketchy clown on the side JEJE,,, but definitely not quitting one of my day jobs. LOLz.

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I Braved Swine Flu and, Instead of Dying, I lost 22lbs

Posted on August 17, 2009 in Business, Current Affairs, Deals, Dog, Food, Memories, Random, Shopping, Sport by Mumford

No, I didn't lose the 10 kilos with a ball

This past weekend I went dancing at the discos. I did a little dance on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday night. I contemplated going Sunday night but was a little too tired even for myself. And yes, apparently my weekend starts on Wednesday. Friday I passed out cold while attempting to take a 30 minute siesta at 10:30 pm only to wake up at 3:30 am. Apparently I didn’t get any sleep after dancing til 5am on Thursday night. JEJEJE/WOOPS. Ok, so, clearly, I do like to dance, and more recently, it’s been very kind to my physique. How kind you ask? This kind:

This dude has lost 10 kilos in 2 months. That’s approximately 22 pounds. Oh no, he didn’t. It’s been great, I have gained more friends and people now like me for the real me. It’s cool because now I don’t have to pay people any pesos to be my friend. YAY! (Lolz at myself).

It’s true though. Well, the kilos part. When I arrived in Mexico back on May 17th, I weighed, ok, I’ll admit the weight: 200 lbs. I don’t joke with this one. And no, I didn’t lose it from the swine flu. In fact, there were absolutely no swine flu cases in the entire state that I moved to. Ok, maybe two cases, but I’m pretty sure they’re alive– and they might even be dancing

Also, prior to my big move to the south, I had spent some coin at the Nordstrom Rack in Towson, MD to buy some cheap ‘wearables’ to my new home. You know, a new pair of jeans, two pairs of shorts and some sneaker/sandals that you can wear in the pouring rain (similar to those ‘shoes’ that most of my lesbian friends wear). I felt that the former were necessary to look hip and to be comfortable in a beach setting and I knew that the latter would be important for the rainy season that is now ever so slightly upon us.

The only prob was that the hip jeans I purchased from the Rack were great at the time. BUT they were the only jeans I could fit in with an unfortunate waist size of THIRTYFRIKKINSIX. That’s a 36. I’ve always been happy being a thirty-four. sadface.

But now that I dance anywhere from 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 to 6 to 7 to 8 hours (per) weekend-night, (remember, this includes Wednesday and Thursday), that the benefits not only yield a happy boy but a slim boy at that! Thus, I have lost 10 kilos, approximately 22 lbs, and AT LEAST two and a half waist sizes.

What fun it is to live in Mexico indeed. Instead of dying or catching a “do you cough, do you cold?” from the swine flu, instead, I changed my life around and lost 22 lbs doing it. Oh, and did I mention that I live in Paradise?

Now if only I could get that pesky mustached taxi driver man to leave my white french poodle and I alone :-/ zomg

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Imaginary Soccer Highlights

Posted on August 17, 2009 in Sport by Stuart

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Chaos erupted today at the match between Northampton Pretenders and Possible United with a disagreement over where the imaginary ball actually was. This is the 982nd argument of its kind since the sport was founded last Tuesday.

The Referee insisted that the imaginary ball had gone into the linesman’s face from a rebound off McGee’s shin. However, both teams disagreed, each with a different idea about where the pretend ball went. The Pretenders said it had gone into McGilbert’s stomach, which would have explained his rolling around on the floor clutching said area. However, Utd were determined that the ball had gone into The Pretenders’ goal, despite it being kicked from their own half.

Eventually the Referee imposed his own decision, a throw-in was awarded, and the “injured” linesman was taken to hospital with extreme hypochondria.

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