sketchy.com

I love the awkward turtle.  In fact, I only remembered it now when I discovered a fabulous new way to express your level of uncomfort with magic hand motions.  They are magic because they help describe how you feel at a given b-zaro moment.  I would first like to introduce Miss Awkward Turtle, (genders and titles can of course vary).

From urban dictionary:

	Awkward Turtle	558 up, 46 down
	During an awkward moment, this hand gesture is used to mark the situation as awkward, and, depending on the situation, makes it more awkward or clears the air. The awkward turtle is made by putting one hand on top of the other with the thumbs sticking outward and rotating forward. The speed of the rotating thumbs depends on the degree of awkwardness. Boy- “I love you.” Girl- “Um…that’s cool…” Boy- *AWKWARD TURTLE* awkward turtle awkward turtle baton rouge trip miles johnson by <3 curse of curves <3 May 29, 2007 share this

Here’s a video that shows the proper ways to use Awkward Turtle!:

Soooo, now that you have met awkward turtle, I now give you Sketchy Clam, via again, the urban dictionary:

	sketchy clam	1 up, 1 down
	The lesser-known cousin of the awkward turtle. Used when a situation is sketchy. The motion is two closed fists, joined at the wrist, making a clapping motion. The Maharishi University of Management attracts large numbers of hippies, but still exhibits strong class division. *sketchy clam* awkward turtle sketchy shady sentient animal emotive action by Mary Wollstonecraft Jun 10, 2008 share this

There seems to be less info out there about our Sketchy Clam, so if you find anything, comment b-low.  And,,, thanks for meeting Awkward Turtle and Sketchy Clam.  Mucho gusto jejeje   Now go wait for an uncomfortable moment and rock out with the Awkward Turtle or wait for a sketchy moment and pop out with the Sketchy Clam!!  Later, I will introduce you to Katie Tay’s animals that make your friends feel uncomfortable LOLz.  She has taught me of the salmon, the scorpion, the giblet and they are sort of friendly.  But not at first! JEJE.  Check the wikipipedia page and look under “Other Awkward Animals”.   Kthnxbyz!

1.	sketchy clam	1 up, 1 down
	The lesser-known cousin of the awkward turtle. Used when a situation is sketchy. The motion is two closed fists, joined at the wrist, making a clapping motion. The Maharishi University of Management attracts large numbers of hippies, but still exhibits strong class division. *sketchy clam* get this def on a mug awkward turtle sketchy shady sentient animal emotive action by Mary Wollstonecraft Jun 10, 2008 share this

I walk my white french poodle every day around lunch time.  Lunch time in Mexico is around 3pm.  Yesterday the two of us were strolling down the Malecon (a cemented boardwalk here, pronounced Mal-ah-cone) when we passed a corner of three or four taxi drivers waiting for their next jolly tourist.  I had no idea at the time, but I was about to be violated by the oldest taxi driver!!!  I’d say he has about 58 years– despite my preference being a little on the older side, still a bit too old for my taste.

You know what I mean, right?

My white french poodle and I passed very close to the three or four taxi drivers when the 58 year old mustached taxi man said, “Ay what a prettty poodle, can I touch it?”

Sometimes I run into some obsure people on the malecon, but it’s hard to just say “beat it pal,” when someone asks to pet your poodle.  BUT before I even gave mustache man permission, he reached up under the back of MY shirt and grabbed my TUCHAS, disregarded my white french poodle altogether and said, “Ah, muy bonito”.  My french poodle is female.  I think the 58 year old mustache taxi man was referring to ME and my beautiful behind.

I was left too confused to feel violated. 

Oh, and I saw mustache man again today.  He didn’t talk to me or my white french poodle.  But just as the above grafitti from Portland, OR states, “F U mustache man…I still hate you.  And you know exactly what you did.  Playa.”

See you tomorrow, Playa.  :-/