sketchy.com

Today I’m blogging about sketchalous ways to make some quick pesos or quick coins outside your regular day job.  Now, a preface might be that these options might only work in certain areas of the world, but it’s especially doable in the Mexican city where I’m currently living. 

I love the awkward turtle.  In fact, I only remembered it now when I discovered a fabulous new way to express your level of uncomfort with magic hand motions.  They are magic because they help describe how you feel at a given b-zaro moment.  I would first like to introduce Miss Awkward Turtle, (genders and titles can of course vary).

From urban dictionary:

	Awkward Turtle	558 up, 46 down
	During an awkward moment, this hand gesture is used to mark the situation as awkward, and, depending on the situation, makes it more awkward or clears the air. The awkward turtle is made by putting one hand on top of the other with the thumbs sticking outward and rotating forward. The speed of the rotating thumbs depends on the degree of awkwardness. Boy- “I love you.” Girl- “Um…that’s cool…” Boy- *AWKWARD TURTLE* awkward turtle awkward turtle baton rouge trip miles johnson by <3 curse of curves <3 May 29, 2007 share this

Here’s a video that shows the proper ways to use Awkward Turtle!:

Soooo, now that you have met awkward turtle, I now give you Sketchy Clam, via again, the urban dictionary:

	sketchy clam	1 up, 1 down
	The lesser-known cousin of the awkward turtle. Used when a situation is sketchy. The motion is two closed fists, joined at the wrist, making a clapping motion. The Maharishi University of Management attracts large numbers of hippies, but still exhibits strong class division. *sketchy clam* awkward turtle sketchy shady sentient animal emotive action by Mary Wollstonecraft Jun 10, 2008 share this

There seems to be less info out there about our Sketchy Clam, so if you find anything, comment b-low.  And,,, thanks for meeting Awkward Turtle and Sketchy Clam.  Mucho gusto jejeje   Now go wait for an uncomfortable moment and rock out with the Awkward Turtle or wait for a sketchy moment and pop out with the Sketchy Clam!!  Later, I will introduce you to Katie Tay’s animals that make your friends feel uncomfortable LOLz.  She has taught me of the salmon, the scorpion, the giblet and they are sort of friendly.  But not at first! JEJE.  Check the wikipipedia page and look under “Other Awkward Animals”.   Kthnxbyz!

1.	sketchy clam	1 up, 1 down
	The lesser-known cousin of the awkward turtle. Used when a situation is sketchy. The motion is two closed fists, joined at the wrist, making a clapping motion. The Maharishi University of Management attracts large numbers of hippies, but still exhibits strong class division. *sketchy clam* get this def on a mug awkward turtle sketchy shady sentient animal emotive action by Mary Wollstonecraft Jun 10, 2008 share this

There’s a new video up online today with TV’s most famous fat naked gay man.  The one, the only, Richard Hatch.  Kind of an idol for me.  Well, my must-see favorite TV program is Survivor.  So, naturally, I’m a fan of Hatch. Most people, however, see him as one sketchy bastard.

But today Hatch is clothed and hanging out poolside with NBC’s Matt Lauer and Hatch proposes that he was sent to prison not because of the tax evasion, but because of discrimination against him for being gay.  (Also, take note of the close up of his fancy ankle bracelet).

But wait,  who discriminated against him?  Well the jury and the judge of course when he was at trial!  *shakes my head in confusion*

Watch Hatch and Lauer chat poolside and you be the judge:

Even Hatch admits that he was cocky and arrogant since winning the million dollar prize money.  But now, he says, he’s not as cocky and arrogant as he once was.  He thinks going to prison has changed him– but, despite being changed for the better– he doesn’t think he deserved to go to the maximum and high level security prisons that he went to for four years.  While he was definitely convicted guilty in some shady tax evading, Hatch says it was definitely not his fault. sadface

And moreover, Hatch has lost all his money because of all this shadiness.  The 1 million dollars that existed back in 2000 when he won the first Survivor is neither the same worth now in 2009 and neither around period.

Regardless, Hatch won that million by being a sneaky, manipulating, arrogant player in one of TV’s most fascinating games– as Matt Lauer suggests, maybe Hatch is only simply trying to pull another one over our heads.

Smell sketchy or no?  Either way, I’m still a big fan of Hatch.  JEJEJE.

What do you think?  You can also read more of Rich’s sad story HERE on People.com

This past weekend I went dancing at the discos.  I did a little dance on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday night.  I contemplated going Sunday night but was a little too tired even for myself.  And yes, apparently my weekend starts on Wednesday.  Friday I passed out cold while attempting to take a 30 minute siesta at 10:30 pm only to wake up at 3:30 am.  Apparently I didn’t get any sleep after dancing til 5am on Thursday night. JEJEJE/WOOPS.  Ok, so, clearly, I do like to dance, and more recently, it’s been very kind to my physique.  How kind you ask?  This kind:

This dude has lost 10 kilos in 2 months.  That’s approximately 22 pounds.  Oh no, he didn’t.  It’s been great, I have gained more friends and people now like me for the real me.  It’s cool because now I don’t have to pay people any pesos to be my friend.  YAY!  (Lolz at myself).

It’s true though.  Well, the kilos part.  When I arrived in Mexico back on May 17th, I weighed, ok, I’ll admit the weight: 200 lbs.  I don’t joke with this one. And no, I didn’t lose it from the swine flu.  In fact, there were absolutely no swine flu cases in the entire state that I moved to.  Ok, maybe two cases, but I’m pretty sure they’re alive– and they might even be dancing

Also, prior to my big move to the south, I had spent some coin at the Nordstrom Rack in Towson, MD to buy some cheap ‘wearables’ to my new home.  You know, a new pair of jeans, two pairs of shorts and some sneaker/sandals that you can wear in the pouring rain (similar to those ‘shoes’ that most of my lesbian friends wear).  I felt that the former were necessary to look hip and to be comfortable in a beach setting and I knew that the latter would be important for the rainy season that is now ever so slightly upon us.

The only prob was that the hip jeans I purchased from the Rack were great at the time.  BUT they were the only jeans I could fit in with an unfortunate waist size of THIRTYFRIKKINSIX.  That’s a 36.  I’ve always been happy being a thirty-four.  sadface.

But now that I dance anywhere from 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 to 6 to 7 to 8 hours (per) weekend-night, (remember, this includes Wednesday and Thursday), that the benefits not only yield a happy boy but a slim boy at that!  Thus, I have lost 10 kilos, approximately 22 lbs, and AT LEAST two and a half waist sizes.

What fun it is to live in Mexico indeed.  Instead of dying or catching a “do you cough, do you cold?” from the swine flu, instead, I changed my life around and lost 22 lbs doing it.  Oh, and did I mention that I live in Paradise?

Now if only I could get that pesky mustached taxi driver man to leave my white french poodle and I alone :-/   zomg

I walk my white french poodle every day around lunch time.  Lunch time in Mexico is around 3pm.  Yesterday the two of us were strolling down the Malecon (a cemented boardwalk here, pronounced Mal-ah-cone) when we passed a corner of three or four taxi drivers waiting for their next jolly tourist.  I had no idea at the time, but I was about to be violated by the oldest taxi driver!!!  I’d say he has about 58 years– despite my preference being a little on the older side, still a bit too old for my taste.

You know what I mean, right?

My white french poodle and I passed very close to the three or four taxi drivers when the 58 year old mustached taxi man said, “Ay what a prettty poodle, can I touch it?”

Sometimes I run into some obsure people on the malecon, but it’s hard to just say “beat it pal,” when someone asks to pet your poodle.  BUT before I even gave mustache man permission, he reached up under the back of MY shirt and grabbed my TUCHAS, disregarded my white french poodle altogether and said, “Ah, muy bonito”.  My french poodle is female.  I think the 58 year old mustache taxi man was referring to ME and my beautiful behind.

I was left too confused to feel violated. 

Oh, and I saw mustache man again today.  He didn’t talk to me or my white french poodle.  But just as the above grafitti from Portland, OR states, “F U mustache man…I still hate you.  And you know exactly what you did.  Playa.”

See you tomorrow, Playa.  :-/

So, today I discovered urban dictionary.  They seem to have all kinds of definitions from the street and the like.  The tag line reads, “The dictionary you (write). Define your world.”  I was feeling lucky on google and that’s how I found it.  Turns out there are about 65 varying “definitions” of sketchy.  I liked the following and then I’ll tell you why.  OK?

Sketchy Definition #33:

Someone who does really shady things and who’s eyes shift a lot. Someone not to be trusted with ANYTHING.

Sketchy sentence:

Pamela is soooo sketchy. She’s probably stealing someone’s clothes right now…

Written by bharath

So here’s why I liked it and why I needed to share it.  Because it made me LOL in a tea and pie shop.  That, and the visual I got of friends and “friends” I know whose eyes pirate walk a little too much, you know what I mean, right?  Jeje.

As of last week, I made a new friend that works as a hairdresser here in Mexico and also goes house to house for the cuts.  I’m really about a 55% on whether this new friend is a real person or someone shady, as defined by the above—sometimes I catch his eyes shifting, you know?  Oh, and he knows about as much English as I know Spanish—which isn’t much, but while it’s definitely manageable, it still won’t help me know whether or not my clothes might disappear when he comes over for dinner tonight. Zomg. Jeje.

Did you know that this year alone, pirates have seized over 100 ships in only one area— the Gulf of Aden. I had to look that gulf up on Wikipedia, so don´t feel silly if you have to click through here also.

Yep, that´s right, click on the link and you´re looking at Somalia. Reminds me of those little sketchy kids from south park and the episode where Cartman decides to go to Somalia to be a Pirate. Sketchiest boys ever.

The Gulf of Aden is pretty busy. But of course, sketchy pirates must be everywhere because as this article states, another ship went missing back on July 24th, but it disappeared thousands of miles away off the coast of Sweden in the arctic ocean. As the article from the AP questions, “could this be an almost unheard of case of sea banditry in European waters”?

SEA BANDITRY???  The fifteen previously missing Russians have been located, after having been tied and beaten up by masked “police officers,” but my new favorite sketchy phrase:

¡SEA BANDITRY!

Somalian pirate video (Official South Park Song)

My wife’s iPod Touch stopped working and after an online search I realized it was due to a battery that would no longer hold a charge. I found this iPod touch repair website and rather then order the parts to do it myself, I sent the iPod to them and they took care of it for me. They made the process painless and kept me posted on when it arrived, after they’d replaced the battery, while testing and finally when it was sent back.