234 years ago, the United States of America celebrated its freedom from the evil British Empire. No more would it have to deal with the tyranny of a dictatorship. Now the people would have their say and the country would be run according to their will. If the people voted against something, such as, for [...]

The original iPhone was an undisputed classic that made its producers, Apple, a household name. With the “difficult 3rd edition” behind them, Apple now attempt to rekindle the magic of the original in the much anticipated “iPhone 4”. The phone starts where the last one left off, with the applications trying to close themselves. Then, [...]

The Large Hadron collider delivered its first high energy particle collisions today, giving us unprecedented insights into the universe and its creation. It was a monumental day in the world of science, but not everyone was happy with the results. “This particle soup is f***ing tasteless!” screamed TV chef Gordon Ramsay. “What kind of f***ing [...]

Millions of thirsty Irish people took advantage of their yearly excuse to drink yesterday, allowing the global corporation Guinness to enjoy record profits for another year. Pubs around the world covered their walls in anything green they could get hold of to cash in on the world’s biggest piss-up. We spoke to the frankly unbelievably [...]

Another Earthquake, another military occupation. But Sunday’s quake in Chile is set to push the American military to its limits. The quake sent the U.S. military into a preparation frenzy. Tanks and planes are being loaded up with ammunition and soldiers are receiving intensive training on shooting tear gas at children, gaining control of oil [...]

Today a ruling in the high court means that Google will now be responsible for ensuring that no bad things happen on the internet. Following on from a case where they failed to delete material put online by someone else, they now have to make sure that there is nothing else on the internet that [...]

Mark Windsor, a brick layer from down the road, logged onto his MySpace account today for the first time in 3 years, only to find that he had no friends in his friends list. Upon further investigation, it became apparent to Mr Windsor that everyone in the world had actually left MySpace, around the same [...]

Tragedy struck a local disco last night, when dozens of dancers were caught in a blaze that spread through the building. It’s said that the party goers ignored instructions to “Evacuate the dance floor”, believing the announcement to be the DJ putting his own spin on the Cascada song of the same name.   Club owner [...]

I love the awkward turtle.  In fact, I only remembered it now when I discovered a fabulous new way to express your level of uncomfort with magic hand motions.  They are magic because they help describe how you feel at a given b-zaro moment.  I would first like to introduce Miss Awkward Turtle, (genders and [...]

A Jedi is demanding that he gets special privileges based on his religion. Markus Skywalker, a Jedi from Birmingham, has insisted that he is allowed 2 hours off work a day to “practice dodging lasers” and “hunt rancor chicks”. Citing religious intolerance, Skywalker tells us of how his religion is being suppressed by “non-believers”. “I [...]