The Large Hadron collider delivered its first high energy particle collisions today, giving us unprecedented insights into the universe and its creation. It was a monumental day in the world of science, but not everyone was happy with the results. “This particle soup is f***ing tasteless!” screamed TV chef Gordon Ramsay. “What kind of f***ing [...]

Millions of thirsty Irish people took advantage of their yearly excuse to drink yesterday, allowing the global corporation Guinness to enjoy record profits for another year. Pubs around the world covered their walls in anything green they could get hold of to cash in on the world’s biggest piss-up. We spoke to the frankly unbelievably [...]

March, and Ken Bobbins from New Jersey is sitting at home in front of the TV with a beer and a cigarette. The year started off so promisingly – he had stopped smoking and drinking for several hours back in January. He had even put on his running shoes. But it was to go no [...]

An escalator broke down today at a local shopping mall. The patrons of the mall were forced to walk down the stationary steps. The incident didn’t cause too many problems. Sketchy spoke to Bob Stepford, who just happened to be out buying a new stepladder. “It didn’t cause too many problems.” he said. The great [...]

Even the best writers struggle sometimes. Sketchy staff set out this morning to write a satirical story about Lady Gaga, but it seems that over the weekend we were beaten to the punch by her latest exploits. “She’s just too freaking weird.” said one writer. “We couldn’t even come close to competing with her level [...]

Another Earthquake, another military occupation. But Sunday’s quake in Chile is set to push the American military to its limits. The quake sent the U.S. military into a preparation frenzy. Tanks and planes are being loaded up with ammunition and soldiers are receiving intensive training on shooting tear gas at children, gaining control of oil [...]